Until You Learn to Love Yourself
by scissorsandcoffee
Summary: Jade and Cat are dating but Jade has a secret only Cat knows. The problem is Cat has a secret too can their relationship survive the girls problems? TRIGGER WARNING GRAPHIC self harm mentions of anorexia and bulimia not a great summary but please read the story is better. Rated M for mental disorders and later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Jade was driving. She was driving away from it all. 6:30 might've been too early to head to school but she had to get away. If her friends wanted to know why she could sleep through the war when they went to Yerba it was because she lived through it everyday. She awoke this morning to the sounds of her parents fighting. Again. Apparently her stepfather had come home in the early hours of the morning which was clearly unacceptable by the amount of screaming that had woken Jade up. So here she was driving to school an hour a half early thinking about everything that made her life so hard to live. Everyone thought she was this horrible, mean person but they didn't know it was to cover up how badly she hurt inside. The only person who knew the truth was her best friend,, her girlfriend, Cat. Holding the smaller girl made Jade feel important, needed, like nothing in the world could ever go wrong as long as this beautiful girl was there. But right now she wasn't. Jade pulled off to the side of the road. She fumbled around in the glove box looking for something. She pulled out a small razor blade and pulled up her sleeve revealing many scars evenly spaced up her arm. Metal bit skin and crimson flowed from her wrist. Unable to hold herself together anymore Jade's head hit the steering as her shoulders shook from sobbing. She stopped startled as her phone rang. She forgot to pick Cat up for school. Rambling through the car to find a bandage so she wouldn't worry the redhead she turned around and headed for Cat's house.


	2. The First Kiss

Jade pulled in front of Cats house and texted her to let her know she was there. She finished bandaging her cut and breathed deep and checked the

mirror to hide the tear stains as best she could. Jade's heart swelled as she saw the redhead running to her car.

She threw open the car door, grabbed Jades face and kissed her deeply. As Cat pulled back to look into her girlfriends eyes she could see something

wasn't right. "Oh Jadey you've been crying haven't you?"

"N-no Cat I'm fine" Jade answered quietly. Cat suddenly became very serious "Jadelyn West don't you dare lie to me!" Startled Jade replied "it's

nothing they were just fighting again, my parents I just…." "Shhhh" Cat said wrapped the raven haired girl in her arms "stop blaming yourself Jadey

its not your fault."

Cat knew that Jade blamed herself whenever anything went wrong she also knew that meant sometimes she hurt herself which worried Cat but she

didn't think now was the best time to bring that up. Instead she looked down at the sobbing girl in her arms lifted her head and said "remember the

first time I kissed you?"

_It was th_e _night Jade and Beck broke up "I'm going outside and I'm going to count to 10 and if you're not out there I'm leaving, and we're over" Jade _

_shouted at her boyfriend. "Fine" screamed Beck after her. Jade slammed the door and held her breath trying to fight back tears 1… 2… 3… No one noticed Cat _

_slip out the back 4… 5… 6… Jade could no longer fight back the tears 7… 8… 9… Jade paused took in a sharp breath 10… she ran off tears streaming down her _

_face…_

_Straight into the arms of Cat Valentine._

Jade breathed in and smiled "You said you had been waiting for us to break up for months and that you loved me and wanted to be with me

and you absolutely couldn't hold it in any longer or your giraffe was gonna tell me for you" Jade laughed. "And?" Cat said. "And I didn't know how

beautiful and loved I was and to stop saying it was my fault because Beck was an idiot" "And then I kissed you" Cat smiled "Just like this" Cat pulled

her girlfriend in kissed her deeply never breaking touch Jade moved the smaller girl on top of her and they stayed there until Jade's phone alarm went

off.

They were late for school

Authors Note: Sorry its a bit short will have more next chapter


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